
("Time Out Chair" photo courtesy Mark Griffith at Flickr.com)
The other day I was looking at The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child then today GoodyBlog mentions it in a post on getting your child to sleep on their own... Coincidence?
I know this is a toy blog and I try to keep it light around here, but it is also a "daddy blog" and parents have the responsibility of raising their kid(s) as well as they can. Cole is having some "listening problems" recently, which means that he tends to ignore his parents and teachers and do whatever he wants. Part of me likes the fact that he does not blindly follow directions, but at the same time part of me wants him to do what he is supposed to do most of the time so I don't have to punish him (plus he will have more time to play then).
From what I have read in Kazdin's book (and what I remember from behavior modification classes back in college) punishment is at best only mildly effective. This is probably not a surprise to anyone. The trouble is, for most parents, that is the easiest to reach tool around. But classical behavior modification has two other major tools available. Here are definitions culled from my dusty college archives (my degree is in Psychology):
Positive Reinforcement - AKA "you get a gold star" - used when the correct behavior is performed. The reward is associated with the behavior making it more likely to occur in the future (I may be mixing behavioral and cognitive psychology terms here but you get the idea)
Negative Reinforcement - AKA "No gold star for you" - used when the incorrect behavior is performed. This is not punishment - nothing is taken away, but no reward is given either. AKA "Be good and I'll make it stop" is defined as the removal of an aversive stimulus. I'm interested in knowing how this would be used with kids. Thanks Micah for pointing out how faulty my memory is and how little attention I actually paid in psychology classes!
Punishment - AKA "go to time out" - where some kind of aversive stimulus is applied when the incorrect behavior is performed. Used sparingly and in the right circumstances it can be effective. (definition updated to be more precise -Pop)
Kazdin's method involves the application of the tools above in the right mix and the right situations. The book is in the mail, and I look forward to reading and using it. It sounds a lot like Reality Therapy by William Glasser (which I actually remember reading in school) but while Glasser's approach apparently works wonders with adults and adolescents, Kazdin's book specifically targets kids.
Has anyone else read/used this book? Do you have other suggested reading or methods?