I look at lots of toys every day, some of them are junk, some are cool, some are outrageously expensive, and some of them are just downright weird. I started collecting the weird ones and realized that they could be entertaining and even desirable (I have one of the toys below right now, and have ordered another one from this list). I hope you enjoy this little collection and know that this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to bizarre toys.
Remote Control Lederhosen
Billed as "the next generation of novelty lederhosen", I'd hate to see the first generation. What will the third generation of novelty lederhosen will be capable of? Will it be self-aware? Will it have its own internal power plant and metal skeleton? Will it relentlessly hunt down Sarah Conner?
Bajo Red Car from Oompa Toys
I know this is not a weird toy. This is a wooden car. It has a little wooden man sitting in it. To keep the little man from falling out of the car you have to put the little strap around him. I know. Unfortunately, to me, this looks like a little bald man with no arms tied to a wheelchair, screaming as he rolls uncontrollably down a steep hill and into heavy cross-traffic. That's not what this is, I know.
Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure
I wrote a cute little paragraph about the Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure, but D. Muchmore managed to put it much better in his Amazon review, here's a clip but there's more at the link:
"I make my kids sit down every day for at least an hour and play with the Cat Lady. We talk about what has made her the way she is and we discuss different options of things we might do to help her. We get into conversations about what role society plays in the creating of these people who seriously have issues and then we practice empathy role play by having our social services action figures come to her aid and get her the help she needs. It has created hours of educational fun for our entire family. "
GROWING BRAIN
I actually have this brain in a jar on my desk. It is approximately the size of a small child's brain, although I can't remember the last time I held a child's brain so I can't be sure. It is important to put your brain in clean water, a little red food coloring make it even better. You should also think about making a little cozy for whatever container you put it in so it stays warm, disembodied brains get cold easily.
Kid's Pimp Suit Costume
Do you have a shy kid? Does he have trouble making friends. Is he worried about not getting his money? Dress him up in the Kids Pimp Suit Costume and his days of being a lonely loser are over.
Lunch Lady
The Lunch Lady is your friend. No one else at school likes you, but the Lunch Lady always smiles at you and puts extra gravy on your perfect dome of mashed potatoes. You can overlook the mole on her face with the hairs growing out of it, and the hair net, and the cold pasty skin on her arms that wobbles when she gives you your vittles. The only thing better than the Lunch Lady is the Lunch Lady on Taco Day.
NUNZILLA
Nunzilla spews sparks from her mouth, she spews sparks on naughty little children like you. You are a bad boy (or girl) and she is going to get you, and when she does, she will bring the wrath of Heaven down on you. You can run, but she will catch you. You can hide, but she will find you, and smite you. You can live a perfect life, but she will still find something to punish you for.
Electronic Yodeling Pickle Gag Gift
Did I miss something in Geography class? Did pickles originate in Switzerland or something? Do Swiss Hausfraus get together and yodel while they jar up their pickles? Or did some toy company have a few thousand yodeling voice boxes left over from the hard to sell Slim Whitman action figures and combine them with a bunch of plastic pickles they picked up on Craigslist? And what's the deal with the yodeling toys? I know that yodeling is kind of funny, but young kids tend to repeat things that they hear or see, do we want them walking around the house yodeling? Hmmm, now that I think about it, I could get some good blackmail video of Cole yodeling. It could really pay off in ten years or so.
Red Bog Monster Toilet Prank
This "toilet prank" comes with a warning that it should not be used on the elderly or those of weak disposition. First of all, are pranks involving a toilet so common that they deserve their own category? I hope that they are rarer than that. Second of all, don't forget that the elderly are from the same generation that made it through the depression and World War II, they are more than likely going to see this thing pop up out of the toilet and start wailing on it with their walker. I'd be more worried about some twenty-something stroking out during the frat party after drinking too many beers and finding this waiting for them in the bathroom.
Here is a video of the Bog Monster in action. Warning: this is a mean and cruel prank to pull on a kid. Funny, but also mean and cruel.
related post: Another Nine Bizarre Toys
at Amazon.com
via several blogs. I've sampled the album on Amazon and I'm sure it is very good, especially for younger kids. But it got me to thinking of the best media we have used to get Cole to take a nap, especially when he doesn't really want to take a nap in the first place. I use the word "media" because it is not actually a music album, it is a video series.
at Amazon.com
is the one he picks for his kids).
